Sunday, 1 April 2012

The Worst of the Van Forums at Fanpop

Bizarre fans are always fascinating.  Sure these snippets would be irritating to the great man if he were to see them, but surely he can see the funny side?  I mean just by doing his composing and performing job he engenders all these bizarre responses?  He has a sense of humour, right?  Here's a sample of some of the forum postings at Fanpop:

The Non-Existent Gay Issue

Mitch_Healy   -   Is Van Morrison gay? You would almost immediately say 'no'. Looking at his clothes and hair you'd just say 'no'. But let's dig deeper. Do you know any women he's linked to? Who does he live with? Do his lyrics speak to us? What does the world think?

Wren_Kybosh81   -   I don't think Van's music is very "Gay Friendly". Except for "Madam George". Is he talking about his own cross dressing in that song?
Junior_Gynther   -   What about the song "Madame George"? It seems to be about a transsexual. It was ripped off by Rod Stewart in his "Killing of Georgie" about the murder of a transsexual. Anyway, Van Morrison's first name is George. Is he saying he's a transsexual? A cross dresser? I guess a blonde wig would hide his bald head.
Minivan   -    Anyway, Van isn't gay. I hit on him in a club and there was no response. And I'm a gorgeous guy. Great abs, tall, great dancer, smart, funny - a great date for any man. So Van showed he was heterosexual. Proved it to me.

bubblesIV   -   Van Morrison is not gay. He's got terrible curtains.

 Hymns to the Silence
  Art_Avatar   -   I love it too. I thought it was shockingly bad when I first put it on. But now I love it. Listened to it this morning as I washed the dishes. My wife was feeding the baby in our bedroom.
Jon_Jon_2000   -   "Hymns to the Silence" is brilliant. What a coup for Van when other people put out so much over-produced garbage. He wears his nostalgia right there on his fancy sleeve. Michelle has really made a difference to his clothes. He went from one of the worst-dressed to one of the best-dressed. Keep up the good work Michelle Rocca. Please try to get him on the treadmill.
Clive_Powell   -   "Hymns" is a great album although many people hate it. Say it's too religious. Don't they want to go to heaven.

 The Alcohol Bans
Ray_Le_Blanc   -   Van has had his struggles with alcohol over the years. Now he's teetotal. Recently there have been reports that he will ban alcohol at concerts. What do you think? I think it's a negative step. A little beer or wine helps you to enjoy the concert a little more. Apparently Van was upset with people getting up in the middle of the concert and going out for a beer. Leaving a Van concert to get a drink? How can that be? I'd never want to miss a minute of the Man!
Dr_Watson   -   Alcohol is a poison to the body affecting many people here in Britain. Anything to reduce its influence is fine by me.
Clive_Powell   -   Good on yer alcohol bans. Beer has made me a loser.

Van and Adolf Hitler
Ray_Le_Blanc   -   What similarities can you find between these two men? They're both people, right. They're both European men. They both weren't what you'd call a "people person". They both ate food. Hey, I'll stop now.
Russell_Howard   -   You're kidding, right? I know they're around the same height.  Hitler wasn't that great of an artist. Van is. Van on.
Roosevelt   -  Van's a genius. Hitler was an evil genius. And "evil" spelled backwards is "live". Spooky, ain't it?
TVMadnezz   -   I think there are better people you could make comparisons to. Adolf Hitler???
rodstarr2001   -   Sieg Hail !!! Hitler gassed and burnt people, Van entertains people. A Totally bizarre title for someone to make! but that's OK.
Dr_Watson   -   I'm offended by this forum. Van Morrison has done nothing to warrant comparison with Adolf. Adolf was a megalomaniac and a satan worshipper. Van is a little troubled like most middle-aged men in the current times. Nothing more.
Justin06988   -    Adolf had one testicle.
Micah_Gidro   -   I guess both of them had a kind of group culture. Van likes to hang around musos and Adolf liked to hang around similar egomaniacs in uniform.
Kent_Uzziah87   -   Similarities come and go. Love Van for the now. not what he did in those awful camps. Forgive and move on.
Kristopfk_Silo   -   We must support Israel.
Maxine875   -   Van is like most men I've met on the scene, emotionally stunted. So was Adolf. Am I making myself clear soldier?
Knight_Table   -   Van and Adolf are well known European white males. They have both slept with women outside of marriage.
hbhb2   -  shut up please! I'm not trying 2 b mean wen i say that but van Morrison is amazing and he brings joy to the world and Hitler is a man that i am glad is gone now forever very sorry and don't take this the wrong way but i think that the world is better without him. u rock van!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Art_Avatar   -   Van has his faults, like us all, but to compare him to Adolf Hitler is really weird. Van has always avoided discussing violence in his songs. He's from Belfast but has never mentioned "The Troubles". He concentrates on his own troubles instead.
Candide   -   Who's Adolf Hitler?
Cal_Avery   -   Hitler had only a brief European tour. Van has been touring Europe for 50 years. Van has stood the test of time. Adolf isn't popular now. Except with horrible racist people.
dingoboy   -   This is typical post-modern thinking. Not everything is related or exists to be deconstructed. Adolf Hitler and Van Morrison are not in the same subset.
Reebus89   -   This is a rather deep forum and I'm happy to contribute. The holocaust did happen people but so did "Astral Weeks".

Van or Sir Paul McCartney?

Ray_Le_Blanc   -  Who of these two leading lights of contemporary music do you think turns out the best albums? Of course, Sir Paul has had the most influence on contemporary music by a long way. Paul is a superstar while Van has a solid fan base that buys his albums and goes to his shows. However, right now, forgetting the past - who of these two still has more of the creative flame?
Maybe compare the last couple of albums for each.
Russell_Howard   -   Well Sir Paul's "Memory Almost Full" rocks more than Van has ever done. Both guys probably are well beyond their creative peaks, but I think Van has the easier time of it. Paul has to keep coming up with neat pop songs whereas Van just has to get into the groove of whatever muse is taking him at the moment.
rodstarr2001   -   I am not familiar enough with Van the Man's recent album outings, I have heard some of his albums and they are pretty good especially his hit songs, however I am not a big bluesy / Jazz fan and a lot of his stuff falls into this category. However Paul I am very familiar with. I personally find Paul's latest albums very mature and musically creative, in fact I find his latest releases including "Chaos and Creation In The Backyard" and "Memory Almost Full" more interesting than his work with The Beatles (even though I still Love the Beatles.) So to sum up, despite the fact that Van is a truly great Artist, I would have to Say That Paul McCartney turns out a better album, of course this is my taste to, so to a real big Van fan of course they will Love Vans stuff.
SuzieQ83   -   I like Van's music better. Paul's music is too clean. Too mainstream. I like odd stuff. Also I like performers that not many people know about. In my age group not many people know Van.
Dr_Watson   -   Paul was good when I was young but now I prefer more challenging artists. "Silly Love Songs" doesn't light my fire anymore.
Mitch_Healy   -   Sir Paul is an old song and dance man. Van fuses Celtic soul and African roots like someone making a daisy chain. Sir Paul is pop, always looking for the hook. Van follows his muse anywhere it takes him. And that road doesn't lead to the town of 'Commercial Success'. No apologies here.
Tom_Eegret   -   I would love to see an album of Sir Paul's worst songs. That would be embarrassment in the extreme.
della401   -   I like Van better. i think his music will sustain me as I get older. Something to listen to and talk about. Sir Paul is just rich.
Cal_Avery   -   Van is definitely more interesting. He's always surprising. Paul used up his massive supply of talent years ago. He has written 20 or so gems since 1970, but that isn't enough to keep buying his albums. Isn't Bob Dylan amazing?
missyox   -   Van really is interesting. Sir Paul is still trying to write the perfect pop song and the hooks ain't coming. Van's into a groove and follows his muse to where ever it takes him - country, soul, jazz, Irish, etc. Paul is just pop and rock with simple trite lyrics. Van's weird. Paul is your ultimate nice guy while Van is Mr Grumpy. To me that makes Van more real.
Eldrick-woods   -   Paul is just your normal nice guy. How did he do it? How did this billionaire keep his head together? So he spent a year on cocaine and got busted for weed in Japan? The man is a legend but I wouldn't buy any of his post-Beatles albums. Too low in quality.
Reebus89   -   Paul's bag of tricks dried up in the 70s. Van's still got it. His bag has some jute that he regularly throws on the burning ground.
Jon_Jon_2000   -   I like Van's weirdness. It's sublime. (That's the word I'm using a lot this week.)

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