Sunday, 10 February 2013

Cleveland Browns Quarterbacks from 1999

Zach from the Midwest in the USA has written about Van and American Football.  Specifically, he has selected a Van song appropriate for every Cleveland Browns Quarterback since 1999.  Why he's done this is known only to his therapist and that's protected by patient confidentiality. But for the North Americans, here's his list.  And for the non-North Americans it's been heavily edited using the "less is more" theory. 
Cleveland Browns Quarterbacks from 1999 with Van Morrison
I think it's a good time to look back at Browns quarterbacks from 1999-present. And since I love Van Morrison music, it's also a good time to list them with Van songs. (That makes complete sense, not!)
Van song for Tim Couch (1999-2003): Did Ye get healed?
Reasoning: Couch's injuries have forced him from the game. I don't know if Couch would have been great, but I think he never really had the chance. No one was happier than I was when Couch signed with the Jaguars, but he was released. I certainly hope he's not finished, but it isn't looking good.
Van song for Ty Detmer (1999-2000): Full Force Gale

Reasoning: It's what Detmer must have felt he'd been hit with after Chris Palmer told him he was yanking him after one start.

Van Song for Doug Pederson (2000): Cleaning Windows

Reasoning: That's what Pederson should have been doing instead of quarterbacking for the Browns.

Van song for Spergon Wynn (2000): Only a Dream

Reasoning: What the idea that Wynn could be a saviour was.

Van song for Kelly Holcomb (2001-2004): Rolling Hills

Reasoning: A good game, then a bad one. One week he looks like Bart Starr; the next week he looks like the backup quarterback in Necessary Roughness. "Blow the Whistle!"

Van song for Jeff Garcia (2004): You Don't Pull No Punches

Reasoning: From Terrell Owens to injuries to court issues to losing, Jeff got it from all sides. But he has made quite a comeback.

Van song for Luke McCown (2004): Domino

Reasoning: McCown started because there really was no one else after injuries decimated the quarterback position in 2004. Garcia went down, then Holcomb went down. Then practically the entire offense ended up on Injured Reserve. McCown never had a chance to be successful with the Browns, but no one would have been with that team.

Van Morrison song for Trent Dilfer (2005): Precious Time

Reasoning: Dilfer wanted to play, didn't want to be a backup, and probably knew his career was close to over. Had he accepted a backup role with the Browns, last season may not have been such a disaster. Well, OK, it would have been.

Van Morrison song for Charlie Frye (2005-present): Man has to Struggle
Reasoning: Frye will have to do something pretty special to keep his job past October. With what he has around, there is at least an opportunity. Good luck, Charlie.

Van song for Derek Anderson (2006-present): You Know What They're Writing About

Reasoning: I'd hope no NFL quarterback reads the newspaper. Well, at least not the sports section. But the writers haven't been kind about Anderson's play. But I'm also sure Anderson is aware of how poorly he's played for much of the preseason.

Reader Comments:

Metalhead   -   I'm 36 and I got to admit, I don't get the Van Morrison joke. Heck, I think most people won't get it. You need to apply your content to something more than some oldie "rocker". Anyways most Browns fans listen to AC/DC and Metallica, have you heard the songs they play during game breaks at the stadium? You know the saying: "Cleveland Rocks" Not "Cleveland's mellow".

Anonymous   -   I understand how saying Wynn was drafted before Brady can make him look even worse, but Brady was drafted in the 6th round...100-200+ players went before Brady, which makes the fact that Wynn went before him nearly irrelevant.

Smed   -   Yeesh. I think metalhead needs to get educated. Van Morrison is a perfect artist to relate to Browns' QBs.  Of course, on my site half the time I ramble about my mixes featuring bands that no one cares about or songs that no one has heard. But Van Morrison? Yeesh, dude, turn your dial off of the classic rock station and start downloading.

Anonymous   -   Guys with the screen name "metalhead" will likely tell you that all Browns fans listen to AC/DC and Metallica and whatever recycled garbage gets played on 100.7, but believe it or not some Browns fans can appreciate a brilliant rock/jazz provocateur who has made compelling music for forty years, and whose every album does not sound the same. Also, I draft Spergon Wynn over Brady every time...I mean, maybe I haven't been paying Brady still in the league...?

Anonymous   -   Great Van selections....Surprised you couldn't find a use for "not feeling it anymore" or "why must I always explain".

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