Saturday, 22 June 2013

Funny Things People Say - Part 2

Joe Fletcher   -   Van Morrison was born with sixteen red hairs damply coiled on a chest already barrel-thick. His urine smelled of peat.

John Wang-Fitzpatrick   -    From studying Have I told you lately that I love you I would think that Van Morrison loves Sinead OConnor very very much, and you can't blame him for doing so. I think she is terrified of him, very very much, and you can't blame her for that either.

Mahons   -   Technically I am not sure if Madame George was actually gay since Van Morrison claimed he didn’t know himself – though I would imagine a man in high heels strolling along Cyprus Avenue in Belfast would still cause some passing looks. But if Madame George is gay, he won’t be able to marry in Northern Ireland.

Mr Fab   -   I may be wrong - admittedly I haven't sat down to listen to those albums all the way thru - but isn't Into The Mystic just a few short steps away from Enya?
Peter   -   Van Morrison has some of the best albums with some of the worst ever covers!

Jon Wilde   -   Please tell me I'm not mad. Each morning I wake up and unease myself into a long-practised routine. While the first cuppa of the day is still brewing, I log on to Guardian Unlimited and fretfully plunge into the obituaries section. I check that my foremost musical heroes (Van Morrison, Little Richard and Bob Dylan) are still in the land of the living. Thus reassured, I perform an inexpert dance of celebration, drink my tea and get on with my day.

Stroidy   -   euh my dad always plays f###ing van m. It's boring, and just rips off things. It all sounds the same. Listen to Lightnin' Hopkins, Son House Robert Johnson and Howlin Wolf etc when you next think of putting on Morrison. Some music with some actual warmth and genuinity if that's a word. He sounds like slow porn music with saxophones and what not.

Johnny Doom   -   A friend of a friend saw Van spit on a dog.

Rob O’Conner   -   Short, pudgy, moody Irish guys don't get recording contracts anymore. At least that's what they told me when I applied. Of course, I also can't sing. But neither can half the music industry and it hasn't stopped them! Never mind what Van looks like. I don't think they sign people who make music that sounds like this anymore anyhow.

YoSaffBridge   -   If I'm going to compare Astral Weeks to films, let's say that I understand WHY someone would enjoy “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” or “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” or, hell, even “Twilight”. This isn't any of those. This is Napoleon Dynamite. It's a cult thing, and I have no idea WHY it's a cult thing. It's not particularly original, it's not particularly interesting. It has a couple of good tracks (the title track and The Way Young Lovers Do) so it isn't even so unbearably bad that it's cultish for that reason. It's just dull, is the long and short of it.

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