Sunday, 4 May 2014

Funny Things People Say - Part 5

Adrastos   -   Van sings like a drunken angel but often acts like a drunken demon. I've seen him live 7 or 8 times and you never know who's going to show up. He's been great, mediocre, bad and downright insulting. Van the man is one of the most erratic and irascible artists ever to hit the stage. His live performances run the gamut from sublime to wretched. You never know what you're going to get with Van and, frankly, my dear, he doesn't give a damn.

Sloane   -   What if flowers were too scared to bloom? Shakespeare too self-doubtful to share his writing? Van Gogh too heart-broken to paint? Van Morrison too shy to sing in front of people? What if peacocks wanted to keep their beauty to themselves?

Dylan Moran   -   I'm in show business. I live in a big egg with Dana and Van Morrison.
Danny Baker   -   I once stood behind Van Morrison in a queue for tea and sandwiches and saw that, while his entire frame is pleasingly roly-poly, his jolly old nut sat there like a big juicy tomato that, if punted free from the mother ship, would roll in a true line for miles and miles. 

Ken   -   What's Van got against Plan B? Plainly he's not into North London hip hop.

Sam Smith   -   Despite your loading the dishwasher with added vigour as jangle-punk opener Serve The Servants segues into the crunch of Scentless Apprentice, you know Dad will inevitably shut off In Utero and put on some Van Morrison.

James Warner   -   If you engage life from the back porch, you may only startle it briefly, before it continues on its way.  If you chose Van Morrison over the highway, nobody celebrates your wisdom.

Soccer mom in denial   -   I'm sorry but Van Morrison can have complete and utter contempt for Brown Eye Girl because he has recorded 3 million songs (approximately) since it was a hit in 1967 (a year before I was born) and he is 1.5 million years old (thereabouts). He is entitled to his contempt for a song that has been around longer than cell phones or the internet.
Jeff Matthews   -   Precisely what “other audio-entertainment options” a consumer is going to “choose” for one’s automobile when shopping at Best Buy is not clear—unless Best Buy now offers, say, Van Morrison to ride with you and sing Brown Eyed Girl while you commute.

Steven Stockman   -   About Born to Sing, in a combination of the paranoid and the prophetic somehow Van Morrison conjures some magical rapture that transcends who he is and leaves us with a musical place to go when peace and beauty are hard to find in the world around us. I think this might be an hejira, a sanctuary or a trysting place for me for a much longer time than anything else he has released in over twenty years.

Brian Evans   -   Some people criticize Van's personality like no one else in the world is grumpy.  He strikes me as perfectly normal.  But then I've got a pretty broad definition about what normal is.  

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