Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Funny Things People Say - Part 6

Charlie   -   I guess I have a connection to Van Morrison since he is friends with a friend of mine, and they talk on the phone on occasion.  Van Morrison is one of the greats and one of my favourites.

Jim Miller (Rolling Stone)   -   Veedon Fleece is mood music for mature hippies and Morrison’s vocals suggest a pinched vocal nerve drowning in porridge.

Sheila   -   Boring song? Any time Van Morrison starts “riffing”. Which is in every song. The only Van Morrison song I like is when they do Raglan Road with The Chieftains. Other than that? Every 25 goddamn minute song could easily be a 3 minute song, and be FAR better. Stop “expressing yourself”, please.


Peter Cook   -   Had I been like Van Morrison, who never talks to taxi drivers, none of this would have happened. That’s the power of networking and coincidences.

B.S. Mix   -   Astral Weeks or Sweet Thing. The violins ending each line in the second half of Sweet Thing are such a cool touch. Is he admitting he is a paedophile in Cypress Avenue? "Nobody, no, no, no, nobody stops me from loving you baby/ So young and bold, fourteen years old".

Kory French   -   As a staunch Van Morrison fan of over 15 years, owner of 33 Van albums, three DVDs, having read two biographies on the man, and seeing him perform over five times, I can pretty much confirm that from everything I have seen and learned--yep, the guy is a real Irish prick!

Jimmy Chen   -   When I’m completely wasted I start singing alone in my condominium and believe that I sound like Van Morrison. I believe that it’s moving, and that it’s a shame I’m not being recorded. Sorry Van, and all my neighbours.

Frank Coulson   -   As I was watching the news on TV a commercial for a new Van Morrison CD caught my attention. The title struck me, Born to Sing: No Plan B. Being a Career Counsellor, I always encourage students to have a plan B & C in their lives so the title caught me off guard.

Scot Hacker   -   I’ve been trying to figure out exactly when Van jumped the shark for good, and have subjectively pinned it at Common One, just as the twilight’s last gleaming transformed the 70s into the 80s.

Altrockchick   -   As much as I love the 60s, I’ll never understand the fascination with Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks, an album that should appear next to the dictionary definition of colossal bore. So what if they improvised a lot? Big deal. Jazz musicians had been doing that for years. So what if it was “stream of consciousness”? Big deal. Stream of consciousness is only interesting when the consciousness being streamed is interesting, and Van Morrison is really not that interesting. Weird and anti-social pretty much describes his behaviour, and if I wanted weird and anti-social stream of consciousness, I could just go down to where the homeless guys hang out, screaming about aliens and zoo people. Astral Weeks may have given Morrison cult cred, but cults are formed by terribly insecure people who need to feel they have superior intellect or insight. A few of these losers latched on to this completely unappealing piece of shit and formed a cult to make them feel superior to the rest of us idiots who “just don’t get it.” Screw them. Astral Weeks sucks and that’s the end of the discussion.  

Jaden   -   Nothing really frightens me anymore.  Hunt me down Van Morrison. Swing that axe hard. I have been watching movies in your house and all I wanted was to simply meet you. You chased me down like a wolf and all the while I was staring directly into your eyes. Hunt me down. Show me I still have something to fear.

Auto da fe   -   Saw Van a few years back at a small venue here in south Florida.  He is a total fave of mine.  Cleaning Windows is musical Perfection.  Definitely not Mr Personality on stage, but I was not there to buy a ShamWow or Multi-chopper !
John Boy   -   Britain is a country where old men say Happy Birthday to Van Morrison and remember his songs and the hair they had when they were young.   Like me, Van had a lot of hair when he was young and I suspect that, like me, his hair has departed from his head. In my case, I wear a baseball hat for warmth and sun protection and in his case he has adopted a trilby hat.

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