Saturday, 4 October 2014

Funny Things People Say - Part 7

Fat Mammy Cat   -   I need a straight answer, you see Etheline says, well, I don't really believe it, but I-wait, let me get a drink first, I know it's early but I need it, steady my nerves. Right, right, fine now. Okay, right. No, I'm fine. I SAID I'M FINE!  Is Van Morrison...well is he considered, urgh, I can't, I...  IS VAN MORRISON CONSIDERED JAZZ???

Jason Mittell   -   The Wire is to Van Morrison as Lost is to The Beatles and The Wire is the Astral Weeks of television.

Thomas Robinson   -   Beyond the word play, I think you can find some similarities in the Stone Soup Cafe and our old buddy Van Morrison.

Ben Buchanan   -   Venga Boys doing a Van Morrison track is the music genre that best describes my culinary style.
Steve   -  Could I live in a world ruled by Van Morrison? Well how much worse could it be than the world that he said. Now that we are grown up democracy people do we not know that with leadership you have to take gregarious blows.

Sam Anderson   -   Which makes me think that I would like to see Sasha Frere-Jones describe all of the major rock voices, past and present, with a cluster of three evocative-yet-precise adjectives (preferably with an adverb preceding the second one). Thom Yorke, for instance, could be ‘‘angular, partly waxed, goldenrod.’’ Van Morrison could be ‘‘funnel-shaped, dappled, loamy.’’

Alan Shulman  -   The great ones always remain inscrutable. Lennon was haunted by strange visions as a child; Dylan shape-shifted himself into born-again Christianity; and no one ever figured out what Van Morrison was talking about.  On the other hand, Bono is pretty easy to suss out.

Sg   -   The Van Morrison version of Comfortably Numb. There should be laws against touching this song if you’re under qualified, and a man like Van Morrison is clearly under qualified. And at the Berlin Wall concert, no less.

Mark Richardson   -   You know the feeling when you’ve read something and you’re so moved by it that you want to run out and talk to someone about it?  That’s how I felt last night after reading Vladimir Nabokov’s short story, Wingstroke. I think of Nabokov’s prose the same way I think of Van Morrison’s voice. I’m sure people would like to imitate them, but you just can’t.  

J. Eric Smith   -   I simply do not accept the rigid critical orthodoxy that labels Patti Smith’s Horses as a must-love, genius, landmark album, if for no other reason than its cover of Van Morrison’s Gloria, which immediately takes me back to every awful version I’ve ever heard of that song by every awful happy hour performer looking to connect with every awful frat house or fern bar audience via one of the most lowest common denominator crowd-pleasers ever, this side of Morrison’s other great lowest common denominator hit, Brown Eyed Girl (I am assuming the chord changes in the latter were too complicated for Patti’s Group, or they might have tried that one too)
Peter Paphides   -   I don’t know how many bad albums Van Morrison or Julian Cope would have to make before I stopped listening to them. I hold out hope for the good ones and I learn a little more about them from the bad ones.
Vsuk   -   What I do find strange about Van is that he is not more honoured in the country of his birth - specifically, East Belfast. Van may be a difficult individual but if they can name an airport after an alcoholic wife-beater shouldn't Van receive a little more civic recognition?

Tyler Krupa   -   In the example above, even though the usual presentation of the surname van Morrison begins with a lowercase v, it is correct to capitalise the first letter of the surname when the name begins a sentence. However, note that if the surname van Morrison is used later in the sentence or in references/citations, then the lowercase v is retained (e.g., At the conclusion of the participant interviews, van Morrison and Smith . . .)
Uncle E   -   Astral Weeks?  Astral WEAK, more like! You'd have to be an absolute idiot to enjoy this. It doesn't even have Brown Eyed Girl which is the only half decent thing Mr Morrison ever did. And what sort of name is Van? Stick to Ronan Keating for that bit of Irish soul.
Mark Morley   -   After 45 years Van Morrison is still producing music and it is the EDI VAN that has evolved into a cloud based B2B Network. It is interesting that Van Morrison’s latest album is called ‘Born to Sing’, a bit like Trading Grid, ‘Born to do B2B’
Jase Gram   -   I love socialising with the lads and I hang with lawyers, coppers, chippies, doctors, tree loppers (actually just one), farmers, teachers, retailers and bankers. I have mates who are rich and non-rich, fit and fat, crazy adrenalin junkies and couch potatoes, reserved and obnoxiously loud, straight and gay, dancers and non-dancers , those who like Van Morrison and those who don’t.

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