Saturday, 10 December 2016

Funny Things People Say - Part 16

Bill Wyman   -   well, if you’re in Van Morrison’s band, I don’t think Van Morrison would say the keyboard player helped me write this song, you know what I mean?

Robert Horning   -   Van Morrison is a deeply strange performer—just check out the footage of him in The Last Waltz, where, in his unitard and cape, he looks as though he were just beamed down from Mars for his exuberant, bizarrely histrionic performance of Caravan, which seems largely out of sync spiritually with everything around it.

Charlene Ross   -   I really didn’t start listening to Van Morrison much until I met my husband. Introducing me to Van the Man might just be the reason I agreed to marry him.

John Martin   -   I quite like background music. I leave Deep Purple and ZZ-Top on the shelf but I wrote my first novel playing Van Morrison and Neil Young over and over. If anyone knows those guys, I have a business proposition to put to them. They can have an equal share of my royalties if I can have an equal share of theirs. That just seems fair.

Mindseyephotography   -   No matter what else runs amok, there is always Van Morrison. No Van Morrison = bad.  After the zombie apocalypse, while the rest of you are talking to a volleyball, filtering water through a complex tubing system and hoarding weapons, I will be in my tent humming Caravan.

Karen Edmisten   -   I started up some music before starting up the dishes this morning. "Wait! What's that?" asked Ramona. "Is that the Blue's Clues music?" "No, honey," I laughed, "it's Ball and Chain. It's a song by Van Morrison."

Jim Linderman   -   The only time I saw Van Morrison perform was the early 1980s and he was short and round like a giant freckled toad. When he took out his saxophone and raised it to his lips, the instrument rested nearly horizontal on his belly and the horn pointed directly at his face, but I knew the stage held greatness.

Austin Kleon   -   Van Morrison immortalised his old job as a window cleaner in 1982 with the song Cleaning Windows.  Composer Philip Glass wasn’t able to quit his jobs as a plumber and a taxi-driver until the age of 41.

Jonathan Hohensee   -   Say what you will about Van Morrison and his personal life, Hot For Teacher has what is one of the best guitar riffs of all time.

Dan Zorg   -   One of Canadian broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi’s greatest triumphs was getting to talk to Van Morrison when Morrison was in Canada to play a couple of concerts in places like Montreal and Toronto.  During Jian’s interview (sorry, “feature chat”) with Morrison, Morrison said he was still pissed off about the Last Waltz movie; clearly, he felt he’d been stiffed by it.  Wheedling, cringing, desperately unctuously hyperventilating, Jian kept wondering why Morrison “was so sad.”  It was so painful to hear.  An intelligent veteran of the music business, with countless song credits to his name, being tearily honeyed and cloyed by a hushy-gushy boy who only wanted to know why Morrison was so sad.  

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